Gold-DateMessage control: six filters on who can write to you
One of the most frustrating things on a shidduch site is messages from people who are simply not a fit — outside your age range, not what you are looking for, or not someone you would ever have chosen to hear from. On Gold-Date you set the rules in advance: six filters decide who is allowed to write to you, so the messages that arrive are the relevant ones.
The six filters
1. “Only I start conversations.” The most useful filter. When it is on, only you can open a conversation — nobody can message you first unless you reach out. Ideal if you prefer to choose whom to approach.
2. Age. Set the age range that suits you, and messages from anyone outside it are blocked automatically. Looking for 25–35? You will not hear from someone of 50.
3. Height. If height matters to you, set the range you are looking for, and messages from people outside it are filtered out.
4. Shomer negiah. Built especially for the religious and Haredi community. Receive messages only from people whose approach to shomer negiah (no physical contact before marriage) matches yours — or from everyone, if you prefer.
5. Marital status. Choose which marital statuses can contact you — for example, only singles, only divorcees, or everyone.
6. “Only members with a photo.” When it is on, only members with a photo on their profile can send you a first message. A blurred photo counts too; a rejected one does not. Members without a photo can still write to anyone who has not turned this filter on.
Why it changes the experience
Without filters, you receive messages from anyone and your only tool is blocking after the fact. With Gold-Date you decide in advance. The filters run on our server, so they cannot be bypassed from the other side, and a filtered message never reaches your inbox.
Message control is one of the three things that make Gold-Date different, alongside private photos and Golda, our AI matchmaker.
Getting started
Join Gold-Date — it is free to join, set your filters, and receive only the messages that are right for you.
Frequently asked questions
How does message control work?
You set filters — such as age range, height, marital status, shomer negiah and a profile photo — and the system blocks messages that do not meet them before they ever reach you.
Which filters can I set?
Who may start a conversation, an age range, a height range, a shomer negiah match, marital status, and “only members with a photo”.
Does the other person know I filtered them?
They are not notified. On your card their “send message” button is grey, and tapping it tells them which filter they do not meet, such as age or photo. They never see the ranges you chose.
Can I change the filters at any time?
Yes. You can turn any filter on or off in your settings whenever you like, and the change takes effect immediately.
What if I want someone outside my filters to write to me?
Like them. Someone you have liked can write to you even if they do not meet your filters. Before such a like, the site asks you to confirm.
Where do I set the filters?
Join Gold-Date (joining is free) and set the filters under Message Preferences.